[ sousuke is certainly thankful for whatever magical healing rin had convinced him to take part in. of course he'd been wary of it at first, but the way that he's able to have this back - that little twitch where his fingers move, being able to pull up his arm and have something there - it's amazing. in an almost embarrassing way, that he wouldn't tell a soul, but true.
and he's glad for the way it's given rin a chance to breathe. sousuke isn't stupid - he's noticed how his best friend will sometimes get quiet, eyeing the stub or the bandages or the place sousuke's hand should be. it's been awkward, and difficult, but they've worked through it. their friendship had lasted through it. and that should say something, shouldn't it?
it does, as far as sousuke is concerned. and the fact he's basically as good as new is something that has been on his mind lately. of course, his muscle mass has fallen to the wayside - an awful diet and a lack of training playing major roles in that. but he has an arm, his shoulder doesn't hurt. there's not a whole lot more he can ask for.
he follows rin almost blindly, making their idle chatter like they can, now. like they do. it's not until they stop, and rin is suddenly shifted his focus (hesitant and a little awkward) that sousuke realizes where they are. he stares at the door for a moment, then back to rin, his expression unchanged except for a slight, small smirk. ]
Rin. [ sousuke picks up his arm and looks down at his palm, curling his fingers a bit before closing it in a lose fist. he knows why rin is hesitating, why he's saying it, but- ]
You know, I'm pretty much healed, right? [ he looks back over, wondering if rin understands what he's saying. ]
He does, and it shows in the way his brows hook all the way up, as though Sousuke's words had been news to him-- and, to an extent, they were. It shows in the way his breath hitches, and his chest quivers, and how he tenses up for a moment, then another, as many as it takes to process the information, until every last painful memory - their last race, the door, their reunion, the healing sessions - has flashed past him, until they're just a dot in the distance, and all that remains is the clear, vivid image of the Sousuke standing before him now, whole and ready to chase after his dreams.
It shows in the way his eyes well up, and how the tears spill forth, lighting up a brighter path down his cheeks-- because, for once, they don't come from a place of darkness and despair.]
Yeah, of course I know that...! [There's a sob choked up in his voice, and he turns to face the opposite side as the back of a hand gruffly tries to dry off his tears, stifling a sniff behind fabric.] But I mean, you can't go in without a swimsuit... The room will make you wanna jump in, and you don't want to be in your uniform when that happens...!
[It would've been a nice save, if Rin hadn't been otherwise painfully obvious.]
[ sousuke watches the scene unfold, feeling a sense of deja vu mixed in with something bright and new and whole. the last time they stood like this, on semi-equal ground on semi-equal footing, sousuke was facing his fear of telling rin the truth. was watching his whole world crumble around them both with a single story, a moment in his life.
but this is different, because sousuke can roll his shoulder and won't hear a crack. can look down at his palm and see the lines of skin he's learned to expect. he wants to question how this is all possible, how his arm can be reconstructed and brought back from a place he hadn't even been aware of. it's weak, sure. his whole body has been losing muscle since the day he lost his arm - but he's whole.
he hasn't been whole for years.
and what completes the circle - what brings that final link to the circle - is how he can look ahead to a very specific person standing in front of him. rin lets the tears fall, and sousuke's smirk softens into a smile. fond and warm and easy, content, almost excited at the chances that might just lay ahead of them. ]
I can't? [ now he's just playing with rin, the smile sticking around even as rin wipes his eyes away on his jacket. as rin tries to compose himself. sousuke almost reaches out to prove it, to set the hand in question on rin's shoulder, but he doesn't. (something holds him back from crossing the distance between them - a self-consciousness he is all too familiar with) ]
[He doesn't need to fool anyone, not that Sousuke couldn't see right through him, anyway. This is more for his own peace of mind, a gentle lie he tells himself to pretend he hasn't broken down, to rise again in genuine confidence and a stronger heart. A game of make-believe, until it's all made real.]
Sure, but I don't feel like watching a gratuitous strip show, okay? [Another rub of his arm, one last sniffle, and a hint of forced annoyance in his voice, only for the sake of their usual banter.] I'm telling you, once you get inside for the first time, you absolutely won't be able to get out unless you go for a dive, so you gotta let me go get you a swimsuit first!
[A pause, and the last of his tears evaporate, utterly defeated by a smile-- bright, warm, driven. A little more like himself.]
Unless you want to swim in your uniform, I mean. What, are you that eager to lose?
[ no, there's no one to fool at all. sousuke has always been able to see through it all, which means he knows exactly what is going through rin's head. why he's doing what he's doing. what he's working towards again.
sousuke sighs, entirely for the sake of it. entirely because it is a logical reaction to rin's confidence and response. to play into the banter. to keep up with whatever crafted situation rin feels more comfortable with. ]
It's not like you haven't seen it. [ which comes along with a smirk - he's talking about stripping, okay. not a single part of his body in any way. but still. his eyes roll because rin, of course, needs to prepare for all of this. needs to have everything set in place. ]
I'd still beat you even with the uniform. [ it's all talk, of course. sousuke has, without a doubt, lost most if not all of his prior muscle mass. there's only so much he can keep up with when he's growing back an arm, and there's no doubt some time he will need to prepare before he does any actual swimming.
rin doesn't need to know that, so it doesn't need to be said, instead giving way for a small, competitive smirk. ]
[Maybe he doesn't need to know, but he does, anyway. Rin is an athlete, himself, and if even he has been having some trouble keeping up with his training regimen and diet, it's not a wild guess that Sousuke must be at quite a bigger disadvantage, what with being unable to even swim at all. But much like Sousuke pretends for his sake, Rin also doesn't bring it up, all for the sake of clinging to that sense of normalcy that has been lost for the past few months.]
Yeah, we've got school-issued swimsuits. Wait here, I'll go grab a pair that fits you.
[One minute he's ready to dash across that door, impetuous and flighty and always moving, a force of nature that can't be tamed. But then, for once, he stops, and it's not out of hesitation or an impromptu change of plans, but rather, because he feels like there's something missing. A detail that requires attention, no matter how small.]
Hey, Sousuke. [Hand still on the doorknob and back to his best friend, he calls out before turning around. When they're face to face again, he lifts his right fist and holds it up, a gesture that Sousuke should know very well by now, should be able to match with his left, now that it's there again.]
No regrets, right?
[Skin and skin, knuckle on knuckle, the final confirmation Rin needs to feel like they're truly back to normal.]
[ and honestly, it is that unspoken silence - ignoring the true problem at hand - that is why this moment doesn't sour. sousuke is well aware of his disadvantages - he's been an athlete his entire life. a nationally ranked one at that. he's aware of every inch of decline his body has made over the last few months and how long it will take to work it back up.
but they're also them. and this comes as naturally to sousuke as breathing.
so when rin mentions school issued swimsuits, sousuke just lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head as rin moves to dash into the room to go grab them. the pause rin makes has sousuke pausing as well, his breath half-caught in his throat, wondering what it could be that has rin stopped like that.
it's not until the fist is lifted that sousuke understands, the tone in rin's voice making sense now. he sees the offering, and for once feels like he is complete enough to match it, a grin sliding out across his face. he lifts his newly grown arm, tapping his fist against the knuckles of rin's. ]
No regrets. [ and he means it, in every way he could possibly mean anything at all. there isn't a single moment with rin that he regrets, not when it has led him here. ]
[When their knuckles connect, memories and tears pool at the corner of Rin's eyes, though he makes an effort not to let them overflow. In all truth, he doesn't think he'll ever truly get over the events that led them here-- even now, he wants to grab that hand, keep it safe in his hold until he's absolutely sure it's there, that nothing else will happen to it. That Sousuke won't ever have to face any pain.
But he doesn't want to taint this moment, doesn't want to curse their new beginning with fears and insecurities that should be kept in the past. So all he does is smile through the tears he isn't shedding, and somehow that's enough to lift some weight off his chest.]
Right. [A deep breath and a nod later, he feels more reassured, hoping that Sousuke wouldn't catch the feelings floating beneath the surface-- and knowing he probably did, anyway.] Wait right here, I'll be back with your swimsuit soon.
[With that, he hurries off to the pool room, dreams and ideals and bonds renewed. This time, everything would surely be all right.]
[ sousuke sees the the tears but also watches the way that rin fights them, holds them back in place of the smile, the hope. they've only been here for a few months (only, only, sousuke almost wants to retract the thought thinking about it) but it feels like a lifetime. like their friendship, their selves, have been tested and redefined.
he has accepted that his life would always involve pain, in some way, and the fact that he's all but painless in this moment is a little hard for him to wrap his head around. it seems to be difficult for rin too, if that hesitation is anything to go by, but they'll figure it out. they always do. ]
Hurry up, will you? [ it's a joke, and sousuke is smiling as rin disappears behind the door. he leans back against the wall as he waits, unable to really let his guard down when he's alone. thankfully it shouldn't take rin too long to come back, and after that?
well. they'll have to see, won't they? sousuke forgets the last time he was even in a pool, and that thought sobers him a bit. ]
action; bless
and he's glad for the way it's given rin a chance to breathe. sousuke isn't stupid - he's noticed how his best friend will sometimes get quiet, eyeing the stub or the bandages or the place sousuke's hand should be. it's been awkward, and difficult, but they've worked through it. their friendship had lasted through it. and that should say something, shouldn't it?
it does, as far as sousuke is concerned. and the fact he's basically as good as new is something that has been on his mind lately. of course, his muscle mass has fallen to the wayside - an awful diet and a lack of training playing major roles in that. but he has an arm, his shoulder doesn't hurt. there's not a whole lot more he can ask for.
he follows rin almost blindly, making their idle chatter like they can, now. like they do. it's not until they stop, and rin is suddenly shifted his focus (hesitant and a little awkward) that sousuke realizes where they are. he stares at the door for a moment, then back to rin, his expression unchanged except for a slight, small smirk. ]
Rin. [ sousuke picks up his arm and looks down at his palm, curling his fingers a bit before closing it in a lose fist. he knows why rin is hesitating, why he's saying it, but- ]
You know, I'm pretty much healed, right? [ he looks back over, wondering if rin understands what he's saying. ]
action; does the hip roll
He does, and it shows in the way his brows hook all the way up, as though Sousuke's words had been news to him-- and, to an extent, they were. It shows in the way his breath hitches, and his chest quivers, and how he tenses up for a moment, then another, as many as it takes to process the information, until every last painful memory - their last race, the door, their reunion, the healing sessions - has flashed past him, until they're just a dot in the distance, and all that remains is the clear, vivid image of the Sousuke standing before him now, whole and ready to chase after his dreams.
It shows in the way his eyes well up, and how the tears spill forth, lighting up a brighter path down his cheeks-- because, for once, they don't come from a place of darkness and despair.]
Yeah, of course I know that...! [There's a sob choked up in his voice, and he turns to face the opposite side as the back of a hand gruffly tries to dry off his tears, stifling a sniff behind fabric.] But I mean, you can't go in without a swimsuit... The room will make you wanna jump in, and you don't want to be in your uniform when that happens...!
[It would've been a nice save, if Rin hadn't been otherwise painfully obvious.]
action; fans self
but this is different, because sousuke can roll his shoulder and won't hear a crack. can look down at his palm and see the lines of skin he's learned to expect. he wants to question how this is all possible, how his arm can be reconstructed and brought back from a place he hadn't even been aware of. it's weak, sure. his whole body has been losing muscle since the day he lost his arm - but he's whole.
he hasn't been whole for years.
and what completes the circle - what brings that final link to the circle - is how he can look ahead to a very specific person standing in front of him. rin lets the tears fall, and sousuke's smirk softens into a smile. fond and warm and easy, content, almost excited at the chances that might just lay ahead of them. ]
I can't? [ now he's just playing with rin, the smile sticking around even as rin wipes his eyes away on his jacket. as rin tries to compose himself. sousuke almost reaches out to prove it, to set the hand in question on rin's shoulder, but he doesn't. (something holds him back from crossing the distance between them - a self-consciousness he is all too familiar with) ]
You don't feel like swimming? Just for a second?
[ you're not fooling anyone, matsuoka. ]
action; blows kisses to
Sure, but I don't feel like watching a gratuitous strip show, okay? [Another rub of his arm, one last sniffle, and a hint of forced annoyance in his voice, only for the sake of their usual banter.] I'm telling you, once you get inside for the first time, you absolutely won't be able to get out unless you go for a dive, so you gotta let me go get you a swimsuit first!
[A pause, and the last of his tears evaporate, utterly defeated by a smile-- bright, warm, driven. A little more like himself.]
Unless you want to swim in your uniform, I mean. What, are you that eager to lose?
[A little more like them, too.]
action; faints
sousuke sighs, entirely for the sake of it. entirely because it is a logical reaction to rin's confidence and response. to play into the banter. to keep up with whatever crafted situation rin feels more comfortable with. ]
It's not like you haven't seen it. [ which comes along with a smirk - he's talking about stripping, okay. not a single part of his body in any way. but still. his eyes roll because rin, of course, needs to prepare for all of this. needs to have everything set in place. ]
I'd still beat you even with the uniform. [ it's all talk, of course. sousuke has, without a doubt, lost most if not all of his prior muscle mass. there's only so much he can keep up with when he's growing back an arm, and there's no doubt some time he will need to prepare before he does any actual swimming.
rin doesn't need to know that, so it doesn't need to be said, instead giving way for a small, competitive smirk. ]
I'm sure you have an extra bathing suit.
action; hides the body
Yeah, we've got school-issued swimsuits. Wait here, I'll go grab a pair that fits you.
[One minute he's ready to dash across that door, impetuous and flighty and always moving, a force of nature that can't be tamed. But then, for once, he stops, and it's not out of hesitation or an impromptu change of plans, but rather, because he feels like there's something missing. A detail that requires attention, no matter how small.]
Hey, Sousuke. [Hand still on the doorknob and back to his best friend, he calls out before turning around. When they're face to face again, he lifts his right fist and holds it up, a gesture that Sousuke should know very well by now, should be able to match with his left, now that it's there again.]
No regrets, right?
[Skin and skin, knuckle on knuckle, the final confirmation Rin needs to feel like they're truly back to normal.]
action; wow rude
but they're also them. and this comes as naturally to sousuke as breathing.
so when rin mentions school issued swimsuits, sousuke just lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head as rin moves to dash into the room to go grab them. the pause rin makes has sousuke pausing as well, his breath half-caught in his throat, wondering what it could be that has rin stopped like that.
it's not until the fist is lifted that sousuke understands, the tone in rin's voice making sense now. he sees the offering, and for once feels like he is complete enough to match it, a grin sliding out across his face. he lifts his newly grown arm, tapping his fist against the knuckles of rin's. ]
No regrets. [ and he means it, in every way he could possibly mean anything at all. there isn't a single moment with rin that he regrets, not when it has led him here. ]
action; it's so you can take a nap in peace! c:
But he doesn't want to taint this moment, doesn't want to curse their new beginning with fears and insecurities that should be kept in the past. So all he does is smile through the tears he isn't shedding, and somehow that's enough to lift some weight off his chest.]
Right. [A deep breath and a nod later, he feels more reassured, hoping that Sousuke wouldn't catch the feelings floating beneath the surface-- and knowing he probably did, anyway.] Wait right here, I'll be back with your swimsuit soon.
[With that, he hurries off to the pool room, dreams and ideals and bonds renewed. This time, everything would surely be all right.]
action; WHO NEEDS NAPS
he has accepted that his life would always involve pain, in some way, and the fact that he's all but painless in this moment is a little hard for him to wrap his head around. it seems to be difficult for rin too, if that hesitation is anything to go by, but they'll figure it out. they always do. ]
Hurry up, will you? [ it's a joke, and sousuke is smiling as rin disappears behind the door. he leans back against the wall as he waits, unable to really let his guard down when he's alone. thankfully it shouldn't take rin too long to come back, and after that?
well. they'll have to see, won't they? sousuke forgets the last time he was even in a pool, and that thought sobers him a bit. ]